The Wedding Expo and the Second Time Bride and Groom

Being outside of a capital city, there can be few opportunities to attend a Wedding Expo. So I excitedly diarised the event and sold the benefits to my husband-to-be of us attending together. Because he is so lovely, he humoured me and braved one of his first bridal/wedding events. 

We were really lucky in that so much of our wedding is already organised. We have the date, venue, invitations, food, dress, celebrant, music, bouquets. The purpose of attending was really just to go through our mental checklist to see if there is anything else we have not considered that we really should have. 

First stop were the cars. There were some beautiful Combis, a stretch Hummer, and a stretch limo. Nice, but what could be cheaper and more fun than me driving myself to my wedding in the Yaris?

Next, we entered the expo. $5 per person at the door. I think the last time I paid a cover charge was at Fanny's in 1998. Anyone from Newcastle should appreciate this reference. 

From here, we followed the snaking line of stalls.  Each eager stall holder chipper and ready to talk turkey. 

I was absolutely delighted to see Kel-Leigh Couture there, their gowns still turn me into a doe eyed child due to their sheer beauty! They are just so freaking magical. It was a relief to see that my gown was not there, because I am a pretty crap liar, and did not want the gig to be up with the hubby-to-be. What made my day even more, was Jade from Kel-Leigh greeting me by name. My name. Not just hello 'lovely', 'honey', or 'sweetie', but my actual name! As if I needed any more reason to be totally in love with Kel-Leigh, but here was yet another one!    

Bidding farewell to Jade, we rounded the first bend, and heard one of the stall holders mention how happy we looked. Naievely, I thought, "well, isn't everyone who comes to a Wedding Expo happy?"  I'm happy because I am on the countdown to marrying the 'Ying' to my 'Yang'. I'm happy because we are working on an awesome wedding for an even more awesome price. I'm happy because we have included all of the things in our wedding that are important to us. Why would we NOT be happy? 

So we continued along the line of vendors. There were lots of smiles, nods, etc. Lots of references to me 'changing your name', or 'when you have kids', but I will come back to that... We got cake too! It was nice cake, even if the lady was mortified that we would be marrying soon and have not finalised our plans for a cake.  We talked to her probably more than we otherwise would have, mostly so we could try out her cake. If you are looking for a tasty, good looking cake, check out Beautiful Cake Creations. Their caramel cake rocked the big stuff, but hubby-to-be says he enjoyed the gluten free chocolate cake. 

As we drove home following our Expo morning and into the afternoon, we talked about what we had seen. My husband-to-be's observation was enlightening. He likened his experience at the Expo, to walking the streets of Kings Cross at night. Shocked but curious, I asked for clarification. He went on to explain that when you are walking past a strip club in Kings Cross, no amount of chatter, handing of cards, or persuasion is going to get you through the door. Either you want to go in, or you don't. Can't blame the stallholders for eagerly thrusting their brochures into the hands of anyone and everyone who meanders past, but there are certainly ways to not do this.  

For me, the stand out feature from our outing is that within the wedding industry, there is little regard for the societal changes which see an increase of second time marriages (heck, even third, fourth, fifth marriages), many more children born to different parents and outside of marriage, and the fact that it is no longer a foregone conclusion that the woman will change her name following marriage. In all aspects of society, particularly in government and the service industry, you are not to assume the marital status of a person, or that all women of a certain age are a Mrs, nor that women will pop out some kids once they tie the knot. 

So why does the wedding industry seem immune to this same social convention? 

Not every newlywed woman is going to be Mrs Domestic Goddess...

I suspect it is because this is an industry that relies on the belief that tradition is good, that tradition is necessary, and that of all days, you should uphold any and all traditions ahead of your own personal choice or belief system. Why would this industry as a whole want prospective clients, brides and grooms, to break free from the expectations of what your big day should be? The simple equation is that weddings = money. If every Mr and Mrs to be decided they do not need a stretch hummer, or an Oscar winning videographer, or do not need their guests to have gem encrusted, tri-fold invitations, the economy of weddings would stall. 

And if tradition is YOUR thing, go for it! If tradition is important to YOU, make sure you have heaped tablespoons of it on your wedding day. But tradition does not guarantee your 'happily ever after'. Our parents and grandparents lived (and loved) in a different time. What worked for them, will not necessarily work for us. By all means respect traditions, respect the meaning it has for your ancestors but know there is always the opportunity for you to create your own traditions.    

It's your day, make it one you are happy with!